


Addiction

by Leticheecopae



Series: Painful Needs [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blackrom, Chuckle Voodoos, Drugs, Fear, M/M, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Psychic Violence, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Violence, Spanking, Tentabulges, Xeno, hinted redrom?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:36:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was addictive, the fear. The way it flowed and brimmed inside his head and ate him from the inside out. Dave couldn't decide if he wanted to run screaming, tear out his eyes, or just cry. All he knew was that what he needed he could only get from Gamzee. He took a step forwards, even as he felt claws running through his insides, and Dave didn't even care if they were real or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All the lovely readers out there](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=All+the+lovely+readers+out+there).



> As I said, it continues. Sorry for any mistakes, as you know I try my best but the little bastards do like to wiggle their way in. Enjoy, and keep an eye out for the next chapter. That is when the fun really starts and Gamzee will take his place in the center ring.

It didn’t take long before everyone on the asteroid knew what was going on between Dave and Gamzee. Despite Dave’s best efforts to cover up his wounds, the last two trolls had figured it out in seconds. Kanaya had gotten a hungry look to her as soon as he had entered the main room a few hours later, bandaged and washed, but still apparently reeking like an open wound. Kanaya had taken Rose by the hand and walked away with her moments after Dave had entered. Kanya had looked like she was craving something more than just blood when she left, and Dave wondered if Rose reacted to whatever Kanaya had between her legs the way he reacted to Gamzee.

Terezi had been a bit easier to hide from, at least at first. The first time Dave and Gamzee had hate fucked he had had a good twenty four hours to cover up his wounds, rid his room of all evidence, and start the healing process, and even then he was still pretty sure Kanaya had been able to tell. Terezi though seemed to be trying not to confirm what was known to everyone else. Her ignorance had lasted only two days before she had come into Dave’s room unannounced, offers of working with the Mayor with their can town (which had grown enough to be a justifiable metropolises at this point) only to stop short. She had quickly excused herself and fled. It wasn’t until a few moments later that Dave realized that she had smelled the torn and bloody clothes sitting in the trash behind his bed. He had cursed himself for not throwing them into the incinerator immediately.

It had been a little awkward the next day, neither of them knowing what to say as they entered the can filled room the Mayor inhabited. They had started stacking cans in silence for a while until the female troll had finally spoken.

“So, black with Gamzee?”

“Yep.”

“Well can’t say I didn’t see that one coming.” Then she had grinned at him, all teeth and glee, and they fell back into working, idle chatter coming around as it would. There were a few questions about how it had been sleeping with a troll for the first time, let alone it being black sex, and the mayor looked like he needed all the brain bleach possible by the end as Terezi sat cackling happily. Dave had also learned that all trolls had the same junk, which seemed perfectly normal to him. It was about then that the Mayor had attempted to stick chalk in his ears and the two had stopped talking on the subject. That was the end to any awkwardness between the two.

When it came to meeting up with Kanaya again she hadn’t said anything about it, just acted the same way she always had. Small chit chat at times, working on different patterns in what had been dubbed her sewing room, disappearing with Rose who always came back managing to look both flush and pale at the same time. Dave was happy that their god tiers made them less susceptible to things such as blood loss; sure as hell made it easier on Rose.

Dave had actually started to feel a sense of normality soon after, even if he was craving a little black action now and again, though he would fight the urge to be the one to search out Gamzee. He was not going to be the first to break in that sense. It was made easier by the fact that Gamzee seemed to have slipped off again, and this time he must have taken Karkat with him because no one had seen them since Rose’s meeting. It didn’t bother Dave though, he knew the clown would come around when he needed his next black fix, and he was going to give it to him. He wasn’t afraid to say he wanted to fuck him bleeding and screaming into the mattress now. He just hoped it would happen soon. They would be landing in less than a month, and when they did it would all be about the game again.

Dave’s newfound acceptance of his relationship didn’t mean the dreams had gotten any better. In fact, what used to be straight (be it violent) wet dreams had been borderline nightmares if not full blown ones. They weren’t just those dreams about the thing hiding somewhere that he couldn’t see, because in those Dave knew it was Gamzee even when he was being stalked; and when the clown did show up it all went downhill with clothing being shredded along with any available skin. But that was what was getting weird, the violence. In the dreams Dave actually felt a serious fear that he was honest to God going to die. That things were going to spin out of control and he was going to be lying there with a claw plunged into his chest and he wasn’t going to walk away. These weren’t the ones that had him waking up gasping though, and not out of a need for release. No, these were bonafied ‘drench your sheets with gallons of sweet and feel like you're freezing from the inside’ dreams. They were the ones where he saw Gamzee from across a canyon, too far for him to jump, just close enough for him to see; and god how he didn’t want to see. There were so many pikes on that side of the canyon, and each one had a different head or a different body. All the headless bodies looked like they were waving, and all the heads were smiling. And there, in the middle of it all, was Gamzee. Painted up like the demonic clown he was in every color imaginable, and too much red. Red that came from John, Rose, Jade, and worst of all, Bro.

“Hate me mother fucker?” Gamzee would ask, and it would sound like a roar and a whisper all at once before the honking and laughter would settle in. All those heads would be laughing, and somewhere little cal would appear and wrap around Gamzee in an obscene hug while Bro’s body stabbed itself over and, over with his sword. His mouth just grinning, blood dripping out of the corners and down his neck.

And Dave would wake up shaking, cold, and hard.

____

The pounding came at just the right moment. Dave was sitting on the other side of the canyon, screaming every obscenity known to man at Gamzee as he watched the clown pluck his Bro’s head of a pike and go to lower his pants. That didn’t mean he wanted his savior coming in to see him dripping in cold sweet either as the pounding continued.

“Sleeping,” he called out as blandly as he could through a forced yawn as he rolled over. From the clocks they had set to give them some semblance of time it was two a.m. There was no real twenty four hours in the void of space, just forwards and backwards, something Dave had realized quickly and found he enjoyed, but that didn’t mean having some structure wasn’t a good idea.

“Like fuck you are you taint-chaffer,” Karkat’s muffled voice came through the door. “You and I need to have a serious talk about what the hell is going on in that deranged think pan of yours.” Great he sounded pissed, but then again he always sounded pissed. It was a slightly endearing quality, one that made Dave want to incessantly poke at the stub horned troll and see what made him tick. If anything he just wanted to see if he could ever get Karkat to actually smile from his pranks, seeing as regular joking just pissed him off, but so far no luck. As much fun as it was annoying the hell out of Karkat, Dave had to admit that the day he got Karkat to crack a smile, would be the day that he himself would give more than a smirk. Not that Karkat ever need to know that. Stubborn bastard. He really was infuriating.

“If this is about me fucking your pale bro or whatever can’t it wait till morning?” He called and started looking for his shades.

“Like those shit dreams you’ve been having are going to let you sleep until then.” Karkat snapped back. Dave’s hand froze as he reached for his shades, head snapping to the door which he stared at silently for a moment, eyes wide in the dark. How in the fuck did he know about those?

“Strider would you just open this fucking door already so I can explain why your worst possible nightmares are taking over the most likely disturbingly pailing ones you’ve been having. Do you think I enjoy standing out here while everyone is safe in their beds, or recoopracoons, or whatever the fuck we’re calling our sleeping apparatuses now?” Karkat didn’t have to wait long, seeing as Dave had flipped on his bed side lamp, slid his shades on,and was out of bed and pulling the door open before Karkat had finished speaking. Dave had caught himself right at the end of his rushing though, opening the door smoothly and stepping aside to let the grumbling troll inside.

Karkat had turned to snap something at him only to shut his mouth and look away.

“Would you put on some pants,” he growled. Dave would be damned though if he didn’t see the slightest blush as he registered the fact that he had gone to sleep in his boxers and shirt. He had started wearing them to sleep to try and save at least some of his sheets from getting drenched, opting to shuck off the clothing instead of changing bed linens.

“What’s wrong Karkles,” he loved the way the troll always stiffened at the nickname. “Too much Strider for ya?”

“Oh go shove your oversized cranial globe up your waste chute Strider,” Karkat snapped and turned to look at him fully. “Do you want me to tell you what’s going on or do you want to go back to sleeping in what most undoubtedly has become a swamp of your own sweat.” Dave didn’t respond to that, instead he closed the door. It was enough of a go ahead to Karkat.

“Good.” Karkat licked his lips and let his eyes dart around the room, even doing a few quick glances over his shoulder.

“Expecting someone?” Dave asked with a chuckle as he leaned against his door.

“To tell you the truth yes. I don’t fucking know where Gamzee is tonight and for all I know he’s holed up somewhere in here. Seeing as the feelings of pure fear and hatred I am feeling currently seem to be my own though, allude to the fact that no, that fucking nookshredder is not here.” The red blood seemed to relax a bit at that as he gave most of his attention to Dave, though he did tend to sneak glances into the darker corners of the room.

“So why am I getting this wonderful wake up call from you so early in the morning?” Dave drawled and feigned a yawn.

“For it to be considered morning we would need a sun dumbass, which in this endless void of existence we are lacking. And before you accuse me of stalling, can I just say congratulations on helping making my moirailegence fifty thousand times fucking harder.” Dave almost made a quip back when he realized just how tired Karkat suddenly sounded, the troll running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more as he glared at the blonde. “I can barely look at you without wanting to break you face in, but that’s Gamzee’s bit now so I’m just going to explain what heinous acts the universe are now throwing at us and then getting the fuck out.” And did he sound...disappointed? Dave barely got time to entertain the idea before the troll was off and talking again.

“So if the state of your shirt doesn’t already tell me that my assumptions are correct and you have been having nightmares, the fact that you let me into the inner sanctum of douchebag does. Now I am going to be courteous right now and tell you to sit the fuck down because I am going to try and make this as brief as possible, but there is way too much fucking backstory. I would have rather sent it to you in an e-mail or something but I know you would just think it some involuntary rant or some shit and end up deleting it before even giving it a once over.” Dave didn’t say anything to that, because really that was most likely true. He had deleted most of Karkat’s memos after the third or fourth one and had decided to just delete the things as they came. Most of them were rants, and if there was anything important Terezi was there to fill him in. So instead or saying anything back Dave just made a show of walking over to his bed and sat with an unnecessary flourish.

“Alright, well then lay it on me.” He said as Karkat continued to stand in the middle of his floor and glowered at him. The look was so intense he almost felt awkward sitting there in nothing but a cheaply synthesized t-shirt and solid black boxers. He would have prefered some of his more intricate and ironically styled ones, but they tended to cost more grist than he was willing to part with for just laying around his room. So instead he decided to make Karkat look away first and settled with his legs open, wider than they needed to be, and hands back behind his hips. “You gonna keep staring or are we going to get this show on the road.” And yep, there was that flush that made Dave grin inwardly and give the hint of a smirk.

“Fuck you Dave,” Karkat grumbled and looked away before turning and snagging the closest seat, which happened to be Dave’s desk chair. Dave watched him sink into it, eyes darting to stare at the door while the trolls leg started to almost vibrate it was going up and down so fast, his body hunched forwards with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped. They sat in silence for a while, Dave finding himself now yawning for real as he waited for Karkat to start talking.

“Are you-” he started only for Karkat to cut in at the same time, whatever thought process he had been working on completed.

“How much has Terezi told you about the ancestor bullshit?” Karkat asked, eyes darting between Dave and the door.

“What does that have to do with you being in my room this early in the not morning?” Dave asked, eyebrow raising as he looked at Karkat who still refused to look at him.

“Everything you shiteating douchenozzle now answer the question. And focus on the highbloods.” Karkat snapped, eyes darting between Dave and the door again.

“Highbloods were the highest blooded land dwelling trolls. Pretty fucking violent from what she told me. Had a weird religion based on singing demonic clowns or some shit,” he paused and thought for a moment, Karkat still watching him out of the corner of his eye as Dave went through what little he knew. “Also mentioned something about certain highbloods smoking some shit called... Solorium something or other.”

“Solanum Negros, and while that sure as hell makes my job a whole fucking hell of a lot easier she left some shit out. Most of which, I am not going to waste precious air on explaining because Gamzee can damn well give you a blood lesson later, but there is one big thing that Terezi left out that I don’t blame her for.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “She did tell you about some of the other ones though right? How Vriska and her’s could control minds, Tavros had an affinity with beasts, and I know you saw how Sollux blew his fucking eyes out moving this piece of shit rock with his mind?”

“Yeah. Told me how some of the blood shades had special abilities. One of the reasons the ‘lime bloods’ were killed off right? Because they had something special or whatever that the pinkies didn’t like?” He and Terezi had done a decent job giving each other the basic backgrounds on each others plants and cultures. The wiping out of a full blood color, a color she had though Karkat might have been for a while, was one that Dave remembered pretty well.

“Holy fuck you can actually listen to people other than yourself, it’s a miracle,” Karkat opened his hands wide in emphasis but stayed for the most part the same, leg bouncing. “Well keep your audio reciprocals open because this is fucking important, for you especially because you’re going to have to start dealing with this bull shit now too.”

“What bullshit?” Dave asked and slid into a more comfortable positions, legs coming up crissed-crossed-applesauced on the bed as he looked at the troll. This time when Karkat looked at him he didn’t look back at the door.

“The chuckle voodoo’s.” Karkat didn’t blink when he said it, his leg stilled, and again he was staring. Three heartbeats of silence and then Dave was snickering.

“You’re kidding me right?” He said with amusement in his voice. “Chuckle voodoo’s? The fuck is the clown going to do, make me laugh myself to death?” The idea was absurd and made Dave want to full out laugh. Here he was thinking Karkat was going to tell him something absolutely horrifying and come to find out Gamzee was just going to mind tickle him or whatever.

“More like scream until you claw out your own eyes or go absolutely sonarbeast shit crazy.” Karkat deadpanned and Dave felt any humor he had leave him.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning the chuckle voodoo’s are one of the worst things any blood color could possess. When the highbloods were still on the fucking planet they just had to look at you sideways and you could become a glubbing mess, screaming about insects crawling out your waste chute or random things eating out your vascular pump from the inside.” Karkat shivered a bit as he said it. “The chuckle voodoo’s are a form of think pan manipulation in which you are forced to see, feel, even fucking live your worst god damn nightmares while awake. Its like its really happening to you, and while not all the highbloods had it, the idea that one could do that to you with just a look, was enough to keep most lower bloods in check. Hell they didn’t even have to look at you. If you were close enough to them and they just wanted to fuck with ya, all they had to do was push a few idea’s at you and hey look! Instanightmare.” Karkat went back to looking at the door, leg bouncing even faster.

“And this has to do with my nightmares because...” Dave thought he had all the pieces, was pretty sure he did, but he wasn’t about to jump to a conclusion without Karkat confirming. This was heavy shit, especially if it was happening with a homicidal troll who had worse mood swings than a pregnant chick during a romcom.

“Because highbloods have driven their kismesis stark raving mad because of that shit! Even some moirails have been known to jump from the highest fucking peak just to get away from the images they had been shown on accident. And by accident, I mean when the shit first starts developing, and let me tell you, that shit is now. These nightmares? They are those fucking chuckle voodoos waking up and searching out the closest living things they can reach.” Karkat dropped his head into his hands and rubbed frantically at his skull before looking up at Dave dead on again. “So that is why I am telling you, you dumb ass, because you made the wonderful decision of becoming a permanent Kismesis with a highblood who hasn’t even grown into his mindfuckery yet.” And despite the anger there was fear there in Karkat’s words. A fear that Dave couldn’t focus on because he was too focused on one particular word.

“Permanent?”

“Yeah, permanent. Speaking of which, that was probably the worst fucking idea I have ever seen you make. I’ve heard of a few more fucktacular ones before this, but full on agreeing to be Gamzee’s kismesis till death take one of you either by each other’s hands or another’s? Well it just proved to me that you have one hell of a death wish. Then you add this on top, and you have me wondering if you’re even going to live to see the new session.” Karkat stood up to start pacing.

“How did I make it permanent Karkat?” Dave was surprised he was able to keep his voice so steady. There was a small overload going on in his brain. He was still trying to digest the fact that he was getting mindfucked by Gamzee in his sleep quite literally, not to mention learning that whatever they had going on was permanent. That didn’t seem right. Hadn’t that Vriska bitch and Eridan been black and broken it off? Terezi had said that hadn’t she? And moirailegences could split off too. So what the fuck was Karkat talking about?

“You fucking marked him you idiotic taintgragling space shit. Nice little mark saying ‘hey, I own this piece of homicidal clown ass, all others looking to have their heads decapitated please kindly step to the left and I will pull out my shitty sword and do it myself’,” Karkat replied, doing a small sidestep as he paced to further the idea for Dave who currently was just the slightest bit confused. “And let me say, congratulations on the most ass-tasktic design I have ever seen. I mean really? A spade? Could you get any more cliché than that? I mean yeah the record was a good touch but you just had to be all ‘ironic’ and shit and-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dave finally cut in. Karkat actually stopped long enough to blink at him.

“What do you mean ‘the fuck am I talking about’. I’m talking about your Kismesis mark. I’ve never seen anyone take that much time actually carving it into someone except in my RomCom’s and even then they aren’t even that detailed. Hell most don’t even do them since most like to switch up the black quadrant ever six or seven sweeps.” Karkat picked at his sleeve a bit, not looking at Dave while he spoke, doing his best to look at anything but him at the moment. “I mean yeah it’s usually just someone’s ancestral sign or something that they are known for, but never have I seen one that big or detailed. You must really hate him a lot to commit to something that long term and that detail-…Strider you okay?” Karkat had just barely looked at him and could tell something was wrong. That barely registered in Dave’s head as being a sure sign his face was slipping as he stared at Karkat. “Dave, did you stop time or some shit because I swear I’m,”

“What did you mean I am his kismesis till death or whatever the fuck you just said?” His voice was low, measured; careful not to betray how it wanted to tremble as he did his best to freeze his face again. The fuck had he signed up for here? He got that he was Gamzee’s kismesis, that he had a serious hard on for all things horrific the purple blood could dish out, but when the fuck had he said he was in this for the long haul? When had rings been exchanged and vows said with the priest looking on and hundreds of teary eyed friends?

“You marked him Dave. Laid claim, symbol and everything seeing as you love your shit CD’s or records or whatever the fuck you call them. I mean all that’s left now is for him to leave whatever mark his hole filled think pan can come up with and...the fuck are you doing?” Dave didn’t care that Karkat sounded confused, or that his voice had gone higher in register, didn’t really care what was happening currently actually. Nope, he was more concerned with what fine print he missed somewhere when he was getting his ass pounded. As soon as the shirt was off Karkat froze. He was staring right at Dave’s collar bone, at the scar that held Gamzee’s symbol inside of a spade. Dave just stood there motionless as the troll moved forwards, clawed hand coming out and tracing over the mark absently like he was zombified. Dave doubted that Karkat even realized he was touching him, would probably have made some sort of quip about it if Karkat didn’t suddenly look so very… Sad? Was that what he was seeing? Hell he wasn’t sure if Karkat ever even showed anything but anger.

“Well fuck me up the nook with a shit sword you two really did do it,” Karkat whispered. Dave grabbed his hand and was surprised when Karkat jumped.

“What did I do Karkat.” He said evenly, not letting go even though he could feel Karkat attempting to tug his arm back. There was a part of him that told him he already knew, that there was no way he couldn’t know at this point, but fuck if he was going to listen to that.

“You made if official you taint lick what else did you think…that…holy shit he didn’t tell you anything did he?” Pure awe and what looked like horror covered Karkat’s face. “God almighty or whatever fucking deity that has fucked us all over he didn’t tell you.” Karkat blinked a few times before jumping back into his explanations. “The mark makes its official. No other Kismesis’s. You belong to each other’s hate until death makes that impossible or you allow another troll to tear it off, and even then they would have to fucking fight Gamzee for you. Believe me, its made for some interesting romcom’s where its two moirails or even a matesprit on black but-”

“For fuck sake Karkat what the hell does that mean?” And no, Dave’s voice had not just gotten angry, he had not just cracked the slightest in fear. Karkat just stared at him again with that look, and what the fuck did that look mean?

“You entered into a permanent Kismesitude with a homicidal clown that will kill anyone else who attempts to take your hate away from him.” Karkat finally said, eyes tracing Dave’s symbol while his hands balled up. Neither spoke for a moment as Dave stood there stiffly. No, this was not happening, this was not his life, he hadn’t just gone and fucked himself over six ways to Sunday. Then Karkat was talking again. “This shit is important. Did he tell you he hated you and then mark you?” Karkat asked evenly, eyes locking on Dave’s face. Dave swallowed hard before answering him.

“Yes.”

“Did you say it back and mark him?”

Dave’s stomach did a weird flip-flop.

“Yes.”

“Did you both mark each other at a time you could have killed each other after you had confessed black feelings?” And Karkat’s face looked pinched as he asked.

“For fuck sake yes. He did it to me after the first time we fucked and I passed out. I did it to him after the second time and he had fallen into something like a sex coma.” And no he was not getting antsy, or panicky, or any of that shit.

“Well then you followed the rules perfectly, and that means you’re more fucked than one of your fucking weird Japanese tentacle videos.” Karkat affirmed. If it wasn’t for the fact that Dave was a Strider, he might have thrown up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the wonderful taterdoom for helping me do a read through and get my facts straight on a few things. It really helped dear. Though, as always, we may have missed a grammar mistake here or there, so be forgiving. Enjoy.

Dave sat on the bed, body stiff and unmoving as his brain went through it all. Karkat was back in the computer chair, not saying anything as he watched the blonde, eyes continuing to be drawn to the mark on his chest. Dave’s brain was still trying to find a loophole, something to get him out of whatever cultural fuckery he had unknowingly entered into, but he couldn’t find one. Karkat had sat him down and explained, with less expletives and a softer voice than Dave had ever heard him use, that what Dave had done was an old ritual between kismesis’s. That a kismesis could see you at your weakest, even be the one to put you in that state, but they wouldn’t kill you. Torture the ever loving fuck out of you, beat you within an inch of your existence, but they wouldn’t kill you. They hated you too much to just let you get away with dying on them.

When explained, the ritual was damn simple, and Dave was amazed that more trolls didn’t do it on accident. Then of course Karkat had explained the mark had to be more than just a slice of a claw, there had to be some thought to it. Dave and Gamzee had both put a lot of thought into theirs. But all it took was the confirmation that they hated each other, both of them putting themselves in a state where they could either be killed or marked, and then reciprocating the mark. Dave had asked what happened if a troll didn’t reciprocate. Karkat had winced and told him that they then had to tear the symbol off of themselves in defiance.

“Could I do that?” And it had been hard to keep the hope out of his voice.

“No. You already reciprocated. Gamzee would just see it as a challenge to make another one and then you would really be fucked up the waste chute.” Karkat had replied tiredly and they had lapsed back into silence, Karkat re-taking his seat and Dave mulling over it all.

“As fucked as you are right now I still need to finish my warnings before I leave you to your dreams of your turntables catching on fire or your shades breaking or some shit.” Karkat finally said as he rubbed at his eyes. He was starting to look more haggard than usual, his leg starting to still though now though his hands were shaking. “I still don’t know where Gamzee is, and if he finds me here right now, I don’t know what shit he is going to let loose on me this time.” The last few words held a trembling in them as Karkat looked at the door again.

“He used them on you?” Dave felt a bit sick at that thought. Gamzee had used something like that on his moirail? The fuck was wrong with him, wasn’t he supposed to be Karkat’s best friend or some shit?

“Not on purpose,”Karkat said and leaned back into the plastic padded chair, the hinges making the slightest of squeaks. “I woke him up and he panicked. I should have fucking known not to touch him, but the voodoo’s are attacking him now too. He has no idea how to use them, and no Solanum Negros to help him get through this bull shit.” Well there was something Dave could latch onto, something that didn’t have him thinking about just how overtly screwed he was.

“Solanum Negros? You mean that shit Terezi mentioned? Is it like sopor or something?” Dave wasn’t expecting the high, almost pained laugh Karkat let out.

“Oh fuck no,” Karkat said unhappily and went back to his hunched explaining position. “Where sopor makes you into a brain dead idiot, Solanum can turn trolls into raging, blood massacring, nook impaling, murderers. And that’s just if they breath in its pollen. You eat that shit and all you want to do is find your kismesis and fuck then into the dirt and then go tear the heads off of tiny pawbeasts.”

“Then why the hell would you want to give that to Gamzee?” Dave asked, no logical reason coming to him as Karkat rubbed at the base of his horns and growled.

“Because, its what the highbloods used to get through the revealing of the chuckle voodoo’s. The voodoo’s don’t just fuck with those around the highblood, but the highbloods themselves. Hence why I was actually idiotic enough to wake up Gamzee. He was tearing himself mentally apart, and I don’t even want to fucking imagine what could have been going through his think pan. When he isn’t raging he just stares at the fucking wall and mutters to himself about how fucking sorry he is.” Karkat stopped and sighed as Dave went to interrupt him, only to get a wave that told him Karkat was getting back on topic.

“But Solanum Negros was used by highbloods as a way to suppress the chuckle voodoo’s. They didn’t eat it or anything like that, but dried it out and then smoked it for some god awful reason.” Disgust showed over Karkat’s features at that. “Something about it put them in enough of a trance like state that the chuckle voodoo’s were easier to mess with or some bull shit like that, I don’t know. It was rumored the grand highblood actually kept a blossom on him at all times and would smoke it fresh before a culling. Creepy fucking bastard, would explain why he was so much more violent then all the other purple bloods if he was smelling its pollen all the time.” He finished in a huff as Dave blinked at him slowly behind his shades.

“Dude. I think you just told me that your highbloods were potheads.” Dave said calmly as he did his best to shove all kismesis shit aside and focus on what he had just been told. Gamzee, who probably needed more drugs than the violent half of a mental ward, was now missing the one drug that probably would help keep him from killing. Well wasn’t that just fucking perfect.

“When in the hell have I ever mentioned the highbloods wearing soil receptacles on their heads? Dave are you even fucking listening to me anymore?” Karkat seethed at him, eyes narrowing as his hands shook.

“Its a human term dude chill out,” Dave cut in before Karkat burned holes into him with just his eyes. “Potheads were people who smoked a lot of weed, which I think is what you're describing in some weird way. I mean, its not exactly the same, since I’m guessing the trance or whatever doesn’t make you completely chill out like weed does.”

“No, there is no real ‘chilling out’ from what I gathered. It just made it easier to control, though at least the shit that makes us all raged out burns off when smoked so it just gives the endorphine rush or some shit. Helps pull them back from the hate rage or whatever the chuckle voodoo’s first do, I mean hell I don’t know,” Karkat stood up again, nervous energy buzzing through him as he looked at Dave. “All I can give you is speculation and the shit that I read and what little I’ve been able to get out of the parts of Gamzee’s brain that the sopor didn’t completely destroy. All I know is that without that Solanum Negros we are fucked ten ways to infinity. I mean, there is no way I am going to be able to shoosh pap Gamzee every ten fucking minutes to help him keep his brain from short circuiting and sending someone off the deep end. It just won’t fucking wo- Dave this is no time to play with your fucking sylladex.” Karkat snapped but Dave wasn’t listening anymore. He had an idea, it was a long shot, a real long shot, but maybe it would work.

When he finally found what he was looking for he hesitated only a moment before dumping the item on the bed. The orange sylladex sat on the sheets, the slightest stains of blood that Dave had tried his best to wash away still barely visible.

“Where the fuck did you get a second one?” Karkat asked and took a few steps forward to get a better look. Dave scooped it up quickly, not really wanting the troll to touch it. Hell he wasn’t even sure he wanted to touch it.

“My Bro.” He said finally as he flicked the screen into life. The first thing that blinked into existence, out of everything, was an extra pair of his shades. Dave froze as he stared at the pointed pieces of glass staring up out of the screen.

“You mean your human Lusus?” Karkat asked and moved to try and get a look at the screen. Dave tilted it so only he would be able see it and nodded. Just then he didn’t trust his voice. “Well what the fuck could he possibly have in there that would help us?” Dave wasn’t listening though, instead he was trying to remember how his Bro’s sylladex worked. It had something to do with rap, meaning whatever name he had stored the shit under was going to be really wonky.

Dave knew where he didn’t need to look though, not wanting to have to go through smuppet faces and backsides and even more shades. Or the picture. He had seen it the last time he had gone through the thing, and after the dreams he had been having Dave didn’t think he could handle it. It was of him, Bro, and Cal. Bro was a bit blurry. There had been no warning to the photo, just Cal suddenly on Dave’s head and bro pushing the button on a camera set up on one of the kitchen counters. Dave had a spoon halfway up to his mouth, and Bro had been smirking. No, he didn’t want to see the picture just then.

He finally found a tab that just said ‘stuff’. All the words rhyming accordingly until he found what he was looking for. It was under the name ‘cocoa puff’ and popped out into his hand when he selected it. Dave was surprised to find that the sylladex had preserved it so much. There wasn’t much in the bag. Just a few thin sheets of paper and the brown plant matter. Smoking had not been something Bro usually did, let alone around Dave. But once or twice he had found Bro on the roof, leaning against an air conditioning unit and smoking a blunt.

“I ever catch you doing this shit till you’re 18 you’re dead.” He had said simply before taking a deep inhale and letting out the white tendrils a few second later. He had looked like some sort of deity, haloed in smoke. “And don’t ever let me catch you smoking cigs Dave. Ever.” Dave swallowed hard.

“The fuck is that?” Karkat asked as Dave handed it over to him. Karkat stared at the little brown leaves and sniffed at the bag, confusion all over his face.

“The shit that is gonna fix Gamzee.” At least...he hoped it would, for everyone else’s sake.

\---------------

Karkat had demanded that if they were going to do this at all, then they needed to alchemize a new batch of the plant. One that would hopefully be somewhat fresher. So Dave had thrown on clothes and they had headed to the main room.The first time had been a bust, putting out what seemed to be a worse quality of weed than what had been in the bag. The second time a few greener blocks had appeared, but still looking pretty deteriorated.They were currently on their third try when a handful of buds appeared.

“The hell is that?” Karkat muttered over his shoulder as Dave picked the item up with a smirk.

“Probably the freshest shit you can get without having picked it yourself.” Dave had replied and handed the buds to Karkat. “We just need to tweek it a little bit so it’s the blocks like the original. I have no idea how to actually make it smokeable.” He adjusted the machine just a bit as Karkat stood behind him, looking the buds over.

“Well at least it doesn’t smell like horrid rancid meat or something,”Karkat grumbled as Dave hit the button to alchemize the next batch. Thankfully the plant didn’t take too much grist, at least for the sizes they were making.

“Some people actually like the smell,” Dave told him as he watched the machine hum to life. “There was a lot done with this stuff back on earth. People turned it into lotion, skin products, hemp butter. If it you could add butter, or hell even make tea, you could get high.”

“I am going to assume that ‘hemp’ is another term for this shit, and are you saying people put this crap down their oral chutes?” Karkat asked as Dave looked over the shredded buds that had appeared this time, looking much like the ones in his brother’s bag, but much fresher and palatable.

“Yep, and I think we have a winner.” Dave snagged some of the stuff and turned to show Karkat only to find himself feeling slightly shocked. “You’re kidding me right?” Dave deadpanned as Karkat quickly pulled his hand away from his mouth, one of the buds now missing. “Dude, you can’t get high from eating it.”

“If we are about to put this in Gamzee I want to make sure it isn’t going to send him into some sort of shock or some shit like that,” Karkat snapped, and with a quick movement of his jaw chewed the buds up and swallowed. Dave did his best not to smile as Karkat glared at him. It was just too ridiculous. They were creating weed for his homicidal kismesis with a stash that was almost three years old. Not only that, but Dave was actually about to give Gamzee something that might help him, which currently was making him want to slice things in half. If it wasn’t for the fact that these chuckle voodoo’s were potentially deadly to the rest of them, he would just let Gamzee suffer through his strange troll puberty. Least he could do after being tricked into what he now thought of as black marriage with no plausible divorce papers in sight.

“Well, you haven’t started throwing blood up all over the floor, I’m going to guess that- dude no.” But Karkat had already shoved the rest of the buds into his mouth and swallowed, eyes screwed shut as he did so. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Holy fucknuggets that tastes worse than sopor.” Karkat said with a slight gagging as his throat worked to swallow.

“You tried sopor?” Dave questioned in amusement as Karkat glared at him.

“Before all this shit Gamzee still considered me his ‘motherfuckin best friend’, and because of that ridiculous title I was roped into having to entertain the nookfuck on several occasions that were in person. Just knowing that should give you a pretty good idea that yes, at some point Gamzee did manage to shove one of his fanfuckingtastic ‘pies’ down my throat, and let me see his ‘miracles’. Let me tell you, there is no miracle with sopor. Just lots of paranoia, and headaches.” Karkat shuddered and Dave wasn’t sure if it was from the residual taste in the trolls mouth or the memory.

“Okay then. I want details on that later, but for now how are you feeling?” Dave questioned and felt a very real, though small, sense of worry in the back of his head. Karkat had just eaten an unknown plant from an alien planet that had never been introduced to the trolls before now. Hell some human food was already a no for them. Terezi had tried caramel from some candy that Rose had captchalogued and couldn’t eat for the next few days afterwards. Other processed things they had brought with them had similar effects. Only items like fruits or nuts didn’t hurt the trolls. Dave hoped this would be like eating a salad and not hurt Karkat.

“I feel like I just ate a fucking plant.” Karkat snapped back. “What do you think I would feel like?” Sighing he ran a hand over his face and slumped a bit. “But no, I don’t think it will give Gamzee a reaction or whatever so lets do this shit already and find his sober ass.” Rubbing the base of his horns Karkat looked at the stuff Dave was still holding. “So you think that he can smoke that shit or whatever?”

“Should be fine. I only saw this stuff fresh a few times before, but I’m pretty damn sure this is what it looked like.” Dave confirmed and turned to start packing the stuff into one of the papers left in the bag. He would have to make more of those too at some point he realized.

“Well then, I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” Karkat muttered as he watched Dave’s attempt at making a sloppy blunt. “But let’s go get my moirail high.”

\----------

It had taken a few times for Dave to figure out how to roll the paper over the ground buds, using memories from as many western movies as he had seen, which in reality weren’t many. He had even showed Karkat so that the troll knew the basics. When it came down to it, it was Karkat who was going to be doing this shit for Gamzee, not Dave. Something Dave was quite thankful for. That didn’t mean he was going to leave Karkat to do the first administering on his own.

“So how do we find him?” Dave asked as they started heading towards the far side of the meteor.

“Just follow the feelings of dread and paranoia.” Karkat had grumbled. They didn’t talk after that. Dave followed Karkat through a series of hallways he had barely ever explored, and some he was almost positive he hadn’t. At one point they passed by a very familiar looking doorway that tempted Dave to look inside. He barely caught a glimpse of what looked like a horn laying in the middle of the floor before passing by, quickly doing a double take when he thought he saw something else glint out at him. Something that looked like teeth. He ignored the flaring of heat he felt in his lower belly.

“Pleasant memories Strider?” Karkat asked, voice a bit dark as he looked over his shoulder at Dave.

“Oh the best Vantas.” Dave replied and flashed a wicked grin at him that was nothing but teeth and anger. It was the grin that made him stop suddenly. Where the fuck had that come from. Karkat must have understood his confusion.

“It’s the fucking voodoo’s were getting closer,” he snapped, and Dave realized he was trembling slightly. “First they put you on the edge, then they start fucking playing tricks on your eyes, and after that...well just don’t run screaming the other way when you see shit.”

Dave didn’t say anything to that, just continued to follow Karkat.

As they passed through an old laboratory Dave felt a very real shiver flit down his spine as something zipped passed his peripheral. His head snapped to the side quickly while he watched Karkat do a strange little side step over something that wasn’t there.

“Fuck,” the troll had said, his voice a shaking whisper as he looked at the empty spot.

“No shit,” Dave mumbled as he looked for whatever he had seen. Instead his eyes lighted on a bunsen burner, and next to it a small metal object. A starter. Dave snatched it up and looked at it. It was shaped like a paper clip almost, only both ends were on the same side, one connected to a large circle and the other inside it. He flexed the thing once and watched as a small spark lit. “Guess what we almost forgot.” Dave said as he tried to feel genuinely happy they had found the thing, but instead felt a realization of how stupid they were settle in his stomach.

“What?” Karkat snapped and turned to realize that Dave wasn’t right behind him. Dave flexed the item twice, small sparks zipping from it.

“Fire.” He said simple and started towards Karkat who’s face looked a bit off, like he felt sick. “You okay?” Dave asked as he stood just a few feet from him.

“Fine.” Karkat replied and shook his head. “Just...well shit we could really have been fucked without that thing.” Then he turned and started heading for the door to exit the lab. Dave couldn’t help but notice how he was trembling. Wouldn’t admit that there was a tremor starting in his own hands.

The glimpses of things that weren’t really there got worse the deeper into the asteroid they went, the hallways growing colder, and the lights that would flicker on from their movement were startling. In one room Dave swore he had saw Cal standing in the center of the room before absconding to some distant corner. It made him sweat, but not lose his cool. Karkat seemed to be doing his damndest to do the same. But the troll would jerk and twitch until finally he out right stumbled backwards in the middle of an empty hallway. Dave caught him and just barely jerked back quick enough to not get a claw to the face.

“Sorry,” Karkat panted and looked at Dave, eyes wide. Dave swallowed hard. Karkat’s pupils were fully dilated, the veins in his eyes stood out stark against the yellow, and they looked glassey. Karkat was high.

“Oh shit dude,” dave said softly as he helped Karkat stand. Well, at least they knew it would work on Gamzee.

“Shit is right, I feel really fucking strange right now. What the fuck is happening?” Karkat’s eyes darted around the room, following phantoms Dave couldn’t see.

“I think somehow, you got high from just eating it. That’s what’s happening.” Dave said softly as he put a hand on both of Karkat’s shoulders, eyes tracing his face.

“I thought you said it couldn’t get you high eaten. That it made you calm down.” Karkat hissed and grimaced away from something behind Dave. He did his best not to look, instead staring at Karkat.

“Usually it does, but sometimes you can have problems. Like when you’re nervous or...stressed. Fuck.” Dave had gotten Karkat high at one of the worst possible times he probably could have ever done so. And yeah, it wasn’t necessarily his fault, but he should have probably explained it all a bit more thoroughly. Karkat just stared at him for a moment. Then he started to laugh.

It started as a chuckle that sounded at first like a hiccup. Then in grew into giggles that began nervous and grew to a high pitch sound that was almost a whine. Karkat’s eyes were wide as he stared at Dave, unblinking, as he went into a full blown laugh. Then the tears started.

“I’m so fucked,” Karkat said as Dave gripped his shoulders hard, trying to keep Karkat’s legs from buckling.

“Karkat, Karkat come on dude pull it together.” Dave said, doing his best not to look at the orange blip to his right. He really didn’t want to know what that was.

“You’re bleeding, you know that,” Karkat asked instead, speaking through his teeth as he made strange almost wheezing laughs and his hands came up to touch Dave’s face. They traced over his cheeks, mouth, and just under his shades. “Its just pouring out of those fucking shades, and I want you to take them off but at the same time I know that whatever the hell is under there, it’s just going to push me over the fucking edge. I can’t fucking do this Dave, nope, game over, I’m done. Do not pass go, do not collect the flying carcasses dangling from the ceiling.”

“Karkat you really need to calm down, I need- we all need you right now. I try and give Gamzee the weed, and Gamzee is going to flip his shit even harder. He’s not going to take the weed from me and you have got to realize that so just come-” Karkat’s hands clamped over Dave’s mouth, shutting him up as the chuckles and laughing stopped.

“I’m fucking terrified Dave.” Karkat whispered, and in the silence Dave found it almost painful after all the laughter. He could feel Karkat shaking like a leaf under his hands, and against his mouth, watched the red tears that were blurring in and out of focus to look a little too red at times. “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this Dave. There here, the drones are here and as soon as I find Gamzee they are going to kill me. Just going to shove the culling fork right through me and leave me bleeding.” He kept going, talking about culling and how he was a shit leader. That everyone was dead because he couldn’t do it, that they were there staring at him.

Dave needed to get Karkat’s hand off his mouth, needed to talk him down, but that meant letting go of Karkat’s shoulders. If Karkat went down Dave didn’t think he could get him back up, so he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled Karkat forward into a very awkward hug, and the talking stopped. Karkat was shorter than him by maybe two inches, his horns just barely making it to the top of Dave’s head. His elbows were bent out as he continued to cover Dave’s mouth while he looked up at him. As soon as Dave had an arm around Karkat’s back to hold him up, Dave used the other hand to pet at Karkat’s head. Karkat jerk at the touch, but after a few moments let his hands fall away, his eyes drop to stare at Dave’s chest, and after a minute, Karkat closed the last bit of space between them and pressed his head to Dave’s shoulder.

“I can’t do this.” He whispered.

“Yes you can.” Dave murmured, lips just brushing Karkat’s hair.

“I just want to run.” And a small sob came out of him as he said it.

“So do I.” Dave said softly, ashamed that it was true.

“I shouldn’t have eaten that shit.” Karkat’s hands wrapped around Dave’s neck and shoulders, completing the hug. Dave thought about making fun of him for only a second before he looked up from Karkat’s head and did his best not to scream. What he was seeing was not there. There was no pike in the middle of the hallway with a bloody orange baseball cap.

“Nope, probably not.” Dave replied and closed his eyes and counted to three. When he opened them it was gone. They stood in silence a few more seconds, Karkat breathing soft sobs against Dave’s shoulder until they turned into strained hiccups. Dave felt his tension ease when Karkat was the one to pull away. He kept his eyes at neck level with Dave before extending a severely shaky hand. Dave took it.

“Don’t let go of me till you have to.” Karkat whispered, then turned and started walking down the hallway, passing through the body of Cal who was suddenly. Right. There.

Dave stifled a sound as Karkat tugged him through the specter. “We can’t be far now.” And god did Karkat’s voice sound ragged. But he was right.

Two turns later and they were in a room full of broken furniture, tubes, and equipment. A horn pile that was mixed with other amounts of debris sat against one wall, and a large refrigerator against the other. There was what looked like dried paint on its sides. Karkat refused to look at it, instead he stared straight forwards. Straight at Gamzee, who was staring at a wall covered in twisted smiley faces and two words.

HONK. Sorry. HONK. Sorry.

Dave handed Karkat the starter and squeezed his other hand.Karkat squeezed back, gave him a wide eyed and frightened look, then walked forwards, steps jerky. Dave didn’t let go till he his hand couldn’t stretch any farther, and Karkat kept going. He stepped on Bro’s hat on his way to Gamzee.

“Hey Gamzee.” Karkat said and Dave felt his stomach drop at how hard his voice was shaking. The room screamed at him to get out, to run, to hide. And Dave wasn’t even high.

“That you best friend?” Gamzee sounded like he had eaten glass, his back still turned to them. “Because our best gill sister was just here, and I don’t think she was feeling to motherfuckin good.” Gamzee turned to face Karkat, profile stark with its smearing of grease paint, with too many colors. Too much red.

Dave tasted bile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for all of those who are going "How did Karkat get high if you can't get high eating it?" In my little head cannon that stuff is going to react much differently with troll biology. Along with that, the thing that is makes the trolls sick in processed food is high fructose corn syrup since it is not a natural occurring sugar. I don't see troll society having anything like that, or the 'natural flavorings' thing either. You find your own damn food, hunt it, or pray you have a good lusus that is willing to get it for you. So troll stomach acid would react in such a way that it would pull the THC in weed from the buds. Anyways, there are my head cannons for the day. I hope you all enjoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just going to drop this here. Thanks to taterdoom and Kimya for helping me look this over.

There was no red, there was no red, there couldn’t be any red. It was impossible. But even as Dave thought it, his eyes just saw the blotches all over Gamzee’s mouth, on Gamzee’s hands, in his hair.

“ _Not there not there not there._ ” Dave chanted in his head, eyes screwing shut. He didn’t want to see that, not when he knew where the blood came from, even thought that was physically impossible.

“ _But it’s not. Because Rose is still here, and you have no idea where she is, and no no no no no no._ ”

“I’ve got something for you Gamzee.” Karkat’s voice came shakily to Dave’s ears and he opened his eyes. The red was gone, so were most of the other colors, though there was purple on Gamzee’s face. Karkat was reaching into his pocket when Gamzee had grabbed for him, making Karkat jerk though he managed not to turn and run. Dave had his sword out in a flash. Gamzee wasn’t hurting Karkat though, no, he was just grabbing his wrists, tugging him down.

“They won’t motherfuckin shut up,” he said quietly. “Its too loud in my think pan bro. It’s too fucking loud.” Dave realized that the purple on his face wasn’t just blood.

“I know,” Karkat said softly and kneeled down next to Gamzee, pulling him into a hug as Gamzee buried his head into Karkat’s neck, shoulders shaking. Karkat pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Gamzee’s head. “But I have something to make it quiet okay. Just give me one second.” Dave watched in fascination as Gamzee just nodded his head and slumped as Karkat pulled back. Karkat pulled the bag out, four white joints of what Dave hoped to be their saving grace in all this insanity sitting inside. Taking one out Karkat set the bag on the floor.

It took a few trys for Karkat to get a spark with the starter, and even then he couldn’t get the blunt to light. Wide eyed and frantic he looked at Dave. His eyes were still unfocused, kept drifting to look at something behind him, but Dave could tell Karkat was fighting the high in his system. Dave didn’t say anything, afraid of what Gamzee might do if he realized his kismesis was in the room, instead acting out was Karkat needed to do. He held one hand up to his mouth, mimicking taking a puff off of something while the other clenched in front of it like it was working the starter. It took Karkat a moment to get it, and when he did, he almost dropped the starter.

“Somethin’ wrong best friend?” Gamzee had asked and started to look over his shoulder. Karkat had stopped his movement with a hand on his cheek, the one with the blunt, before making a shooshing sounds and kissing Gamzee’s forehead.

“Nope, just hang on okay. First time using this fucking thing.” Karkat said softly, his voice not rising as it normally would. Dave watched him take a shuddering breath and stare at the thing in his hands before lifting the blunt to his lips, pressing the striker to the tip, and scratched. Dave watched the paper catch, watched Karkat breath in, and felt a breath leave his chest when Karkat coughed out white smoke.

“There,” Karkat hacked out before handing the now lit weed to Gamzee who looked at it oddly. Dave could just barely see the way his eye looked unfocused, like he was looking passed the thing. “Just breathe that shit in.” Karkat said through a wheezing breath.

“What’s it gonna all up and motherfuckin do?” Gamzee asked, though he was already bringing it to his lips.

“Hopefully help your thinkpan shut up.” Karkat replied softly and ran a hand gently through Gamzee’s hair. Dave felt like he was intruding, that he should leave. Gamzee put the joint to his lips, and sucked in deep. The clowns eyes went wide.

“Hold it in.” Karkat said quickly then looked at Dave who nodded in agreement. Yeah, you were supposed to do that if he remembered right. Gamzee kept his mouth shut and eyes wide. A few seconds later he breathed out, a large amount of smoke leaving his lungs as he let out a few stray coughs.

“Shit burns,” and he practically purred the words before taking another hit, this time his eyes closing. Dave shivered at how it looked much too natural for Gamzee to have a blunt between his claws. Gamzee hummed with the smoke in his lungs before letting it trickle out his nose. “I like it.” More smoke followed the words.

“Good,” Karkat almost cooed, and Dave was surprised when he felt the atmosphere in the room start to lift. The fuzzy outlines on the edges of his vision slipped away as Gamzee took another hit. Karkat’s hands looked like they were starting to calm down as he pet around Gamzee’s horns. The fear in the room was dripping away, feeling more and more like the leftover shakes that came with a bad dream. Gamzee turned away from Karkat and looked at the wall again, pulling Karkat to his side and looping an arm around his shoulders.

“I all up and write this shit?” Gamzee asked. Dave heard Karkat sigh a bit as Gamzee took another hit, head tilting back to let out a cloud of smoke. He looked so relaxed like that, Karkat tucked under his arm. Dave wanted to pick up the nearest broken pole and smash it over his head. But right now wasn’t the time for that, right now was Karkat’s time to deal with the homicidal ass hole. As silently as he could Dave turned and absconded.

“Yeah Gamzee,” Karkat said sleepily. Without the fear he actually sounded kind of relaxed. The fresh hit most likely having already started taking effect as the room just felt like the rest of the asteroid; cold and the slightest bit damp.

“Huh.” Gamzee sounded uninterested as Dave picked his way around items, too mentally and physically tied to flash step. Dave heard Karkat yawn and another deep intake from the clown. “Where did you get this miracle fire?” Gamzee asked just as Dave reached the door. Karkat yawned again and Dave heard him shift. He looked back and couldn’t help but smile when he saw Karkat had pretty much collapsed into Gamzee’s lap, the clown now stroking Karkat’s head while he puffed away. If it hadn’t been for Gamzee, Dave would have found it cute. He left the room, barely able to hear Karkat’s half asleep voice.

“Dave,” Karkat said softly. Dave made it three steps before the screaming started. It was high pitched, pained, and so fucking loud that it sounded like it was echoing inside of his own skull. His feet moved quicker than his head, flash stepping him back into the room where he froze. Karkat was still half in Gamzee’s lap, the troll still stroking his head, and he was still screaming.

“What’s wrong best friend?” Gamzee asked, and there was genuine confusion in an almost completely indifferent voice.

“ _He didn’t mean to_.” Karkat had told him.

“Come on best friend cut that out.” Dave still couldn’t move as he watched Gamzee turn Karkat so he would be looking up at him, but Dave couldn’t see Karkat where he was. The screaming just got louder. “Did that motherfucker hurt you?” And Gamzee’s voice was suddenly low and dangerous. “Did he fucking touch you bro? I’ll break him if he did. Nice and slow. Bro’s before hoes you know.” And Gamzee was still petting Karkat.

“Oh god stop, stop, please stop.” Karkat pleaded. A clawed hand came into view, gripping hard at Gamzee’s shoulder. “Dave.” The word was high and weak, and Dave could hear tears. He moved.

Gamzee’s hair felt greasy as Dave grabbed between the horns and forced him backwards. Gamzee hadn’t expected it in the least, and the sound of the back of his skull hitting the concrete rang through the room. Dave paid little attention to his dazed face as he scooped Karkat up. He was going off of blind instinct as he got the other troll over against the far wall in the blink of an eye, Karkat’s arms already latched around the back of his neck as the troll sobbed into his chest.

“Thank you,” he said between the hiccuping sounds. “Thank you.” Dave shushed him gently as he put Karkat down, gently unwrapping Karkat’s arms from his neck.

“Hey, you’re the troll I don’t like hearing scream.” Dave said, pushing Karkat’s bangs out of his face.

“Fuck you Dave,” Karkat hiccuped as his claws clung to Dave’s clothing.

“Maybe later.”

“Maybe now.” The words were accompanied by the feeling of a blade being shoved straight through his chest.

Dave gasped, choked, and looked down. There was nothing there.

“Hello motherfucker.” Dave barely registered the hand on his hood before he was thrown backwards. Karkat made a grab for him, and all he caught were shades.

Dave hit the floor hard, the air getting knocked out of him as he slid, debris cutting into his left side as he came to a halt. Gasping he looked up to find Gamzee standing in the middle of the room, half finished blunt between his lips though he wasn’t smoking it. Probably couldn’t with all the blood dripping out of his mouth. Cal was twined around his leg, blood spattered and grinning at Dave.

“Not real not real not real.” Dave chanted.

“Oh I’m real all right mother fucker,” Gamzee said and lifted his hand up to take a drag, smoke filling his lungs as he walked towards Dave, kneeling down in front of him and grinning. Smoke curled out around his fangs. “Need a reminder?”

“Gamzee st-” Karkat started from across the room. Dave’s eyes shifted to look at him, watched as he attempted to get up on shaking legs. Gamzee tossed a glance over at his moirail. In that second Karkat’s eyes went impossibly wide before he teetered and fell over.

“Gamzee the fuck,” Dave cried and tried to get up. Then Bro was standing in front of Karkat’s body, chest nothing but a gaping bloody hole, his heart visible and beating, the meat of his lungs shredded while his spine stood out a dull pink white. He was shaking his head at him. Dave jerked back, hands and feet having him crab walk backwards as fast as he could.

“What’s wrong Dave?” Gamzee asked him, smile much too wide as he stood, following Dave’s retreating form until Dave hit the wall. He wasn’t looking at Gamzee though, no, he was too busy watching as Bro reached into the hole and tore out his heart. He nodded at Dave, held the heart out as if giving a toast and smirked at him, then brought it to his lips and bit. Blood splayed out over his cheeks and down his chin.

“No, no no no no no. Its not fucking real.” Dave said through gritted teeth and screwed his eyes shut.

“Sounds like you need your thinkpan to shut up for a bit.” Gamzee said against the darkness of his eye lids. “Let me help you with that.” The hand was around his throat in an instant, causing his body to both panic and flash back to memories that did not belong in his head just then. Both of his hands came up to grip Gamzee’s wrist as the troll took a deep drag on the joint, leaving little more than one hit left. The hand on his throat shifted and grabbed Dave’s jaw forcing it open as Gamzee’s mouth sealed over his, the hand holding the blunt going to squeeze Dave’s nose shut. Dave thrashed, his legs lashed out, banging against Gamzee’s shins. There were things trying to climb out of his insides, tearing through his stomach and spreading out into his guts, shredding and destroying as they went. Dave took in a deep breath and inhaled smoke as it poured in from Gamzee’s lungs. He wanted to cough and choke, but Gamzee kept his mouth sealed over Dave’s, forcing him to breath smoke and carbon dioxide from Gamzee’s chest. It made him dizzy.

When Gamzee finally let go of his nose Dave’s eyes were watering and his sight was on the edge of blackness. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose only for Gamzee to steal it from him, sucking it down into his own lungs through Dave’s mouth before pulling back. Smoke trickled out of both their mouths. Dave sucked in oxygen as Gamzee lifted the last of the blunt up to his mouth, sucked down the last of the weed, and pressed his mouth to Dave’s again. Pain flared somewhere inside him, and he sucked the smoke down into his lungs, coughing into Gamzee’s throat again while the troll moaned, smoke spilling from both of their noses as Gamzee forced Dave to breath through their joined mouths.

It made Dave’s head swim, the tinglings of a high spreading through his head as the pain in his body vanished. That and the lack of proper oxygen was making his hands shake and go lax against Gamzee’s wrist. When Gamzee pulled away finally he was smiling lazily at Dave as Dave attempted to pull in as much oxygen as possible. Gamzee let go of him and stood. He stared down at him with an almost fond look.

“Isn’t that better motherfucker? No more voices all up and yellin in your think pan. Just you and the mirthful messiahs.” His voice sounded almost serene if not for the edge of venom to it. “Tell me, what are they showing you?” 

Dave kicked out hard and connected with Gamzee’s shin. Gamzee made a hissing noise, eyes sliding shut as a look of almost pleasure crossed his face.

“Oh how I have missed you my nightmare miracle.” Gamzee growled and kneeled, looking Dave straight in the eyes. Dave felt the soft hands slide up his neck and around his throat, felt the soft body slide over his head. He didn’t want to see, to look, but his eyes stayed wide as Cal’s face dipped down over his forehead, dead doll eyes looking straight at him.

 _We only want to play Dave._ He didn’t realize he was screaming till Gamzee backhanded him. It left Dave reeling as he fell sideways, chest heaving. Across to room he could see Karkat, slumped against the wall. He couldn’t tell if the red dripping from his eyes were blood or tears. Taking a few deep breaths he sat back up, shaking his head as he heard Gamzee moving around the room. His sword was out as soon as he could focus enough to retrieve it.

Fighting against the moisture in his eyes he stood, eyes locking on Gamzee who was pulling another blunt from the bag. Dave swayed for a moment as he watched Gamzee mimic what Karkat had done, only having to try twice before he was pulling smoke into his lungs and breathing it out. It didn’t look like smoke though, it looked like a thousand flies springing from his lungs and spreading out into the room.

 _It’s not real._ Dave tried to remind himself. He charged.

“I said chill bro.” Gamzee growled, low and dangerous as Dave went to swing. The sword stilled as it embedded itself in Bro’s side. He could _feel_ the heat of fresh blood welling over his hands, see it spill out into the room.

 _Nice swing little dude._ Dave dropped the sword. It clattered to the floor, no body to hold it up. Gamzee looked at him with mild interest. Taking another drag he stood, and fear gripped Dave deep, whispered that he was going to die. Whispered they were all going to die. For every step Gamzee took forward Dave took two steps back.

“Don’t be like that motherfucker,” Gamzee said with a feigned sadness, sucking smoke into his lungs and spitting out something different each time. By the time Dave found himself against the wall the second joint was gone and Gamzee was flicking away the butt. “I just want to get my hate on. Don’t you?”

There were claws all over him. Cutting, slicing, _touching_. He moaned and slid to his knees. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t move as Gamzee kneeled in front of him, clawed hands sliding up under his shirt and splaying over his skin.

“Going to mark you all up,” he said, claws pressing small rivulets into Dave’s flesh. Dave whimpered. He was too sensitive, much too sensitive, and Gamzee’s hands were so fucking cold. “Make sure everyone knows you’re mine. Make sure my best bro can’t even deny it anymore.” Dave cried out when a claw sliced just beneath his nipple and he felt blood flow. His hands went to grip Gamzee’s shoulders.

“Gamzee,” he wanted to tell him to stop, but instead he screamed as he felt teeth in his kismesis scar, teeth that belonged to nothing. Gamzee’s were still grinning at him as the pain flared. That grin grew wider as the scream became a moan, the feeling of thousands of tiny feet scuttling over him. It made him shiver and grab at his own clothing, tugging at his shirt. It needed to come off, it all needed to come off. Only way to get the things off of him. Gamzee’s hands didn’t move while Dave tore off his shirt, flinging it to the other side of the room.

“You look so damn good,” and this time the teeth did belong to Gamzee as he ducked down to nip at the spot on Dave’s collar bone, just above his scar. Flashes of feeling and images of teeth burying into flesh and bone flew through him, sending adrenaline racing through his body and buzzed mind. Dave gripped Gamzee’s hair, one hand attempting to push him away while the other tried to pull Gamzee closer to him. He wanted to feel real pain, to be able to tell the difference between his brain and what was actually happening. He wanted Gamzee to make him bleed and do it for real. He wanted Gamzee.

“Please,” He whined as he looked through half lidded eyes at a forest of pikes. Each one with a head. A face he knew at some time in his life. A teacher, a classmate, all his doomed selves. There was even the elderly neighbor woman who had baked him cookies as a child and passed away when he was eight.

“Please what?” Gamzee asked against Dave’s neck and lapped at the skin. Dave stared at her wrinkled face, the way she flicked her tongue at him and winked. Dave’s hands slid up Gamzee’s shoulders, up into his hair and rubbed at the base of the trolls horns.

“Please,” he whispered as he watched her head bite off its tongue. “Shut the fuck up.” He growled and grabbing Gamzee’s horns pulled them outwardly. Gamzee screamed and shoved Dave hard into the wall, stumbling away. Dave managed to keep his bearings this time and shoved off the wall, being careful of Gamzee’s horns as he grabbed him. His hands wrapped under Gamzee’s shoulders, bare chest pressing against Gamzee’s upper back as his knee came up hard into Gamzee’s chest. Once, twice, Gamzee wheezed and straightened, forcing Dave to let go; but not before he had grabbed the hem of the trolls shirt and pulled it off.

Dave through the thing off into the room as he backed up, legs spread and hands up. He knew he couldn’t fight Gamzee off, not with how strong the troll was or with the fear buzzing through his head. But he wasn’t about to just lie down and take it. Gamzee looked up and glared at him, and it really did feel like daggers in him. Gasping he stumbled, felt the cloth of his jeans become tight, and stared at Gamzee. Now that there were no images, just a pissed off troll and pure unadulterated fear bubbling in the back of his brain Dave realized something. He liked it.

It was addictive, the fear. The way it flowed and brimmed inside his head and ate at him from the inside out. Dave couldn't decide if he wanted to run screaming, tear out his eyes, or just cry as it cascaded over him, burning into him from Gamzee’s eyes. His cocked strained and his body begged for something, anything. All he knew was that what he needed he could only get from Gamzee.

“That all you got Strider?” Gamzee coughed out, straightening. Dave saw his mark on Gamzee’s belly, felt heat in his own and smiled as tears sprung from his eyes. His feet shook with the need to run.

“The fuck you think Makara?” He took a step forwards, even as he felt claws running through his insides, and Dave didn't even care if they were real or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may become five chapter now...why is there so much shit in my head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, no more chapter additions. One more after this, and that is all.
> 
> Again, thanks to Kimya and taterdoom for reading this through with me.

Dave had made it maybe three steps before Gamzee charged him, bent at the waist and horns down. The sound he let loose sent tremors down Dave’s spine, and as his body told him to flee he did the only other thing he could get through his mind. He stood still and waited until Gamzee’s horns were almost stabbing him in the face, then flashed stepped sideways, foot out. He grabbed Gamzee’s arm as he did so, twirling them around at a dizzying speed as Gamzee stumbled to stay upright. At least he did until Dave let him go, and he went stumbling into his horn pile.

The sound was horrible, laced with screams and shrieks of pain that Dave attempted to force from his head. Gamzee didn’t stay down long, stumbling upwards to turn and face Dave. Pain lanced through his nerves, hot and sharp, but it was missing something. There was no sting to it like the cut on his chest. Dave smirked slightly behind his wince, one he could feel in his eyes. He was happy Karkat had managed to swipe his shades, because the way Gamzee was looking at him made him feel just that much more confident when he spoke.

“Come on, really? That shit you’re pulling is really starting to live up to its name. Kinda tickles.” He had to bite his tongue to keep a gasp from escaping his throat when he felt a stab in his side and a cloth hand around his waist. _Not there_ he said once and bit down on his cheek. The sting and burn had the feeling in his side dissipating in an instant. “Come on chuckles. We know thinking isn’t your strong suit.” Gamzee gnashed his teeth at Dave, looking just the slightest bit dizzy still as Dave readied for another charge. Then there was a head flying at his face.

He waited for it to fly past, act like the smoke and mirror shit it was. It wasn’t till the thing was hitting him in the face that he realized that Gamzee might be just a bit smarter than he looked. Dave held his left cheek bone as the juggling club rolled away from him. He couldn’t believe how badly it hurt, and he was pretty damn sure that the bone had cracked if it wasn’t totally broken, it may have even shattered.

“How’s that?” Gamzee’s fist connected with the hand Dave had over his face. He managed to push himself back in time to soften the blow, the movement of his own feet making it a fraction of what it would have been. That didn’t mean it hadn’t caused him even more pain, tears prickling as Gamzee’s fist grazed his nose. He landed on his ass, and with his momentum rolled back over his shoulder. It was a good idea, because where his leg had been a second ago Gamzee’s foot had taken its place.

“Hold still bro,” Gamzee growled, and Dave rolled to his side as a club came down. He heard concrete crack as he finally got to his feet in a somewhat jerking motion, the eye above his cheek starting to lose sight thanks to the swelling. He needed something to fight with, to help keep the clubs off him. His sword was only a few feet away, he flash stepped. Gamzee gave a growl of rage behind him as he grabbed his sword. At that moment he realized something was behind him. It set his heart racing as his reflexes acted for him, jerking him to the side. Whatever he had thought he was dodging wasn’t there. Instead he moved back towards Gamzee, his sword barely coming up in time to glance off the blow of a club. The strength in it left his arm shaking, the muscle straining to keep the thing from smashing into his head.

Dave stumbled back, using the few seconds it gave him to pull himself together for the next swing. Spinning on his heel he dodged as Gamzee’s momentum carried him forwards, the hilt of Dave’s sword smashing into the trolls ribs as he went by. He ended his spin so that he was looking at Gamzee’s back, and brought the sword down in a shallow arch. He watched skin split at the longest jagged edge slid cleanly down Gamzee’s back. The cut wasn’t terribly deep, but it was long, and blood spilled down Gamzee’s skin, outlining the curves of his spine and taunt muscle.

“Too slow.” Dave said, smirk in his voice when his reflexes kicked in again. He turned to block as an all too familiar presence came behind him. It was a second too late that his brain realized it was another trick. Bro’s blade sliced through him with the feeling of a breeze. The club cracked against his shoulder, forcing him to drop his sword as he let out a grunt of pain, the force making him go to his knees. At least, he would have if the arm hadn’t wrapped around his throat.

“Maybe you should slow down.” Gamzee growled into his ear before forcing Dave’s head to the left and sinking his teeth into Dave’s neck, right over the old scars that he had given Dave their second time around. Dave grunted in pain as he tried to pull the arm away from him neck, the crook of Gamzee’s elbow choking off his air as Gamzee bit deep, hurt cheek mashed against Gamzee’s upper arm. He could feel a club pressing against his belly, keeping him from moving forwards. He stomped backwards, catching the insole of Gamzee’s foot and immediately regretted it. Gamzee bit in deeper with a grunt, bypassing skin and sinking deep into the muscle. Dave was thankful that Gamzee had opened his mouth so wide, otherwise he could have bitten right through. The fact that he had also managed to stay away from his more important arteries was a blessing.

Dave wheezed as he held onto Gamzee’s arm, no longer moving as he felt Gamzee’s teeth in him. There was a pain he could lock onto, memorize, understand. There was a sting to it that none of Gamzee’s tricks had given him, an afterbite that the trolls saliva and breath left. Something the mind could not easily recreate.

Instead of removing a chunk out of Dave Gamzee pulled his teeth out slowly, letting them follow the canals they had made in his flesh. It made Dave let out a low moan as he felt blood well up out of the wounds, his shoulder for all intensive purposes ruined for the time being. There went using his sword, at least to any affect.

“Taste so fucking good,” Gamzee muttered, spreading blood over him. It stung, and Dave just knew that there was grease paint all over his shoulder from how Gamzee was nuzzling into the blood, lapping at it. Hell it was probably all over his face too now that he thought about it. His hands felt over Gamzee’s arm, scratching harshly and pressing, searching. “I should bottle it up, this magic elixir.” Gamzee said against his throat, pressing blood drenched kissed up his neck.

“I don’t think I’d keep well,” Dave said through gritted teeth while he punched just where forearm met elbow. Gamzee cursed, arm convulsing as he pulled back. Dave got just enough space to abscond and get a few feet away in a flash. He covered the bite with one hand as he looked Gamzee over. “Looks like humans aren’t the only ones with funny bones. Tell me, does it make you want to laugh?” Dave smirked as Gamzee glared at him, rubbing at the bone. “What’s wrong no com-” Dave felt his body tense and ready to spin, his brain registering the presence a second before he moved. This time he was able to stop the full reaction, shifting it at the last second when Gamzee lunged.

Using another spin he punched the wound he had left in Gamzee’s back as the troll moved passed, making Gamzee howl and drop his club.

“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time? I don’t fucking think so.” Dave growled, and as Gamzee straightened he kicked him hard in the ass. Gamzee hit the floor on all fours, and wasn’t that just a gorgeous bloody site. Dave was pressed against his back in seconds, his cock straining against his pants as he pressed it into the cleft of Gamzee’s ass. Taking his working hand off his neck Dave dug his fingers into the gash on Gamzee’s back as the troll tried to get up, making Gamzee’s arms give out momentarily. It forced Gamzee to keep himself partially up with his forearms.

“Now isn’t this a pretty sight.” Dave snickered, fingers digging in under flesh as he jerked his hips against Gamzee’s ass. Gamzee half groaned, half growled as he pushed back against Dave. The friction made Dave hiss, his good hand leaving the slice to grab at Gamzee’s pants, jerking them down over his hips to pool around his knees. “Little hate slut was waiting for me.” Dave said with slight appreciation when he found Gamzee wasn’t wearing anything beneath them. Gamzee made to get up again, but Dave’ had his fingers in the wound, pulling them down the length of the tear and making Gamzee cry out. It was such a beautiful sound.

“Move again, and I won’t fuck you.” Dave warned. Something stabbed him in the back as he said it, but there was nothing more than pain, no itch or heat, and he ignored it with all but a slight jerk. “And keep your voodoo to yourself chuckles. Shit’s getting old.” He leaned down over Gamzee’s raised ass and bit at the wound while his good hand went to fumble with his pants, pushing down them down along with his boxers. They slid to his knees as he slid his tongue through the gash he had created.

Gamzee made a high, pained sound but didn’t move. Instead his legs spread wide, exposing his nook while his bulge came back to find Dave’s cock. Dave hissed at the feeling, the heat making him tremble as the telltale tingling started a few seconds later.

“Holy fuck.” Dave moaned and jerked his hips forwards, sliding his cock up against Gamzee’s backside. The troll whimpered as Dave’s balls brushed over his nook. Dave grinned lazily, moving his most likely broken arm to lay against Gamzee’s back, hissing as he did so. The fingers dug into the bottom of the cut flesh, tearing it a little wider. Gamzee let out a gasp and pressed back against Dave, bulge tightening almost painfully.

“What do you say?” Dave said above him, taste of Gamzee’s blood on his tongue and his bulge around his cock.

“Pail me,” Gamzee growled out, thrusting backwards, head turning to look at Dave. Wasn’t that the sexiest fucking thing he had ever seen. Gamzee’s eyes were just barely looking at him through the tangle of hair, hate radiating out of the iris’s as Dave felt that dread of death curling in his belly again.

“Wrong.” Dave dug his fingers into Gamzee’s flesh again and slapped the troll hard on the ass. Gamzee let out a strangled moan and dropped his head. “Try again.”

“Fuck you.” A harsher, faster slap while the fingers of his other hand attempted to peel back Gamzee’s skin. It hurt his shoulder, the way Gamzee arched against the sensations, but it was damn worth it to hear the sounds he made.

“Nope.” Dave said with a smirk and slapped again. “Do you need some help?” Another smack, more fingers, and Gamzee was panting, forehead to the ground. “All you have to say is ‘Dave, fuck me into the floor’, please.” Gamzee attempted to straighten at the words, only to stop from a harsh smack. Then Dave managed to get a finger to separate flesh from muscle, and slid a digit in between. Gamzee let out a strangled shriek as Dave thrust his cock up against Gamzee’s backside, the bulge wrapped around it tightening even more.

“Dave,” Gamzee choked out as the finger moved under flesh.

“Yes?” Dave asked, other hand rubbing over the now purpling skin of Gamzee’s backside. He marveled at the smoothness of it. His hand traveled up higher to where he found a strange looking scar. It looked like a triangle, the tip just barely curling over to the side of Gamzee’s ribs. His dug his fingers into the indent and was greated with a moan. “You were saying?” Looking at Gamzee’s back he found more of the scars in two neat rows. If Gamzee hadn’t started talking he might have asked about them, and the strange ridges that led from them to Gamzee’s spine.

“Just fuck me,” Gamzee panted as Dave traced another indented scar, fingers digging in as his injured arm slid down just enough so his fingers could find one of the ridges in the broken flesh. There was something there, firm and spongy. He pressed on it.

“How?” He asked and winced as the bulge around his dick tightened.

“Into the motherfucking ground.” Gamzee cried out, voice cracking and strained as Dave pressed against the spot. It sent pure heat through him, and for a moment he thought he would lose his load over Gamzee’s back. The bulge kept him from doing so though, tightening and holding it back.

“The magic word?” Dave grunted and kept sliding between the almost perfect cleft of Gamzee’s ass, another strange scar right on the tip of the tail bone. It made his cleft indent at the top, and again Dave felt a flash of curiosity before lust took him. Gamzee didn’t say anything, just thrust backwards. “Say it,” Dave commanded, pressing down against the ridge beneath the flesh, Gamzee screamed and rocked back again, and again, head turned and cheek pressed against the floor. Dave saw his eyes were closed tight, claws digging into the concrete and leaving the slightest gouges. Dave couldn’t suppress the moan when he saw Gamzee was biting his lips hard enough to draw blood. Dave leaned forwards, body covering as much of the tall troll as it could. It left his mouth just barely able to reach the highest ridge that lead from one of the strange scars. “Say it.” Dave whispered, hurt hand pressing against the ridge in the wound, other hand going to painfully grab Gamzee’s ass, and teeth closing around the ridge.

“Please,” Gamzee all but shrieked as Dave felt the ridge beneath his hand break.

“About fucking time.” He gasped as the bulge went painfully hard around his cock, barely allowing him to pull back enough to line up with Gamzee’s nook. He pressed in fast, slamming his hips forwards and was greeted with a pained cry. It was so tight inside Gamzee, so tight and warm. It just barely registered in his head that it wasn’t as hot as it had been, didn’t hold the same heat, but that didn’t mean it didn’t feel fucking amazing. Gamzee’s bulge stayed wrapped tight against the base of Dave’s cock, the rest of it sliding around to find Dave’s own entrance. The idea sent a thrill through him. His body craved the feeling, the way he knew it would saturate him with pleasure in such a way that no pain would ever touch him. “Do it.” He growled and thrust in hard. Gamzee whispered something that sounded like ‘fuck you’, but it was lost to Dave when on the next thrust Gamzee pressed inside him.

“Oh fuck,” Dave hissed as his hips stuttered for a moment and then sped up. There was no way he was going to last like this, not after the build up, not after tasting Gamzee’s blood and feeling his flesh give way. Not with the way the fear was building inside him again, sending surges of adrenaline through his brain and body. Gamzee’s nook was already tightening as Dave’s fingers dug in wherever they could, good hand grabbing as much of Gamzee’s hair as it could and tugging back hard. Gamzee cried out, but followed the motion, back arching and legs sliding apart as Dave fucked him. With each minute movement Dave was hitting something else, fucking a different ridge of Gamzee’s insides.

“Hate you Makara,” he growled against Gamzee’s back, teeth sinking into flesh, his jaw closing over one of the strange triangular scars across from the slash wound. His jaw physically hurt, along with his broken cheek, with how hard he bit into the flesh until it gave way, blood flowing into his mouth. Gamzee screamed, his body seizing up, nook clenching around Dave along with his bulge, and Dave stopped. Neither moved as Gamzee’s tightness kept him in place. Gamzee’s bulge did nothing more than subtly trembling inside Dave, pressing against his prostate. Dave’s teeth unclenched and he swallowed purple.

“Who marked who bitch?” He whispered. Gamzee sobbed, a low sound that sent a shockwave through his body, making everything tightening impossibly around Dave before it released all at once. Dave came as soon as the bulge relaxed around his dick, and as he came inside the troll his brain suddenly felt like it was being dipped in acid. His eyes burned and bubbled, his bones shattered, and as he came he screamed. Screamed and screamed as pain and pleasure mixed together, white hot and molten.

_Nice one little man._

All that was left in Dave's brain was static.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...yeah. I hope you enjoyed that, sorry for any grammar or spelling issues. Passed three here and I have to be up in three hours to drive two...gah.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to the lovely taterdoom and Kimya for helping me go through this last chapter. It was written on two hours of sleep, but I think its pretty much free of mistakes. Hopefully you enjoy.

Dave dreamed in shades of pain. At first he was nothing more than a ball of wounds, punches coming from all sides, hands scratching where he couldn’t protect himself, bites at every joint and junction. Then he would be bowed, back arching as something moved deep and hot inside him, setting every nerve on fire in a way that was neither pleasurable or painful. It was just white hot heat, and it made his body yearn for more. At last it subsided and all he could do was ache, body limp and tight all at once, doing its best not to move. He stayed like that, trapped in the dark static and feeling the ache. He didn’t even think of consciousness till he felt the pressure on his wrist. It was slight, just something moving in a circle over and over, a soothing feeling that made his fingers twitch.

Slitting his eyes he found the room dim, a familiar pressure pressing against the sides of his nose. Keeping his eyes at slits he looked out of the corners, trying to make sense of where he was. What was under him felt like a bed, but the springs didn’t hit right, and the smell that came from it wasn’t his. It smelled stale, like sheets that needed to be washed, like his did if he didn’t change them after his nightmares. There was also little in the way of sheets on him, and of clothing. He could feel his boxers brushing over his slightly hard cock, morning wood attempting to make an appearance despite his pain.

The pressure on his wrist slid up and down, the soreness of his bad arm relax the barest amount. He tilted his head, feigning sleep as he kept his breathing shallow, allowing him to look fully to the side. Karkat sat frozen, fingers pressed to his wrist, eyes wide. When Dave didn’t move the troll relaxed, going back to massage at the spot. Dave wished he would do that to other places, like maybe his neck. It currently felt like he was fighting a vice to move it. But he didn’t say anything, just watched Karkat rub at his wrist, felt a mild sense of curiosity when Karkat pressed one of his own wrists against Dave’s and let out a slight purr, eyes closed as he pressed them together.

“This some more weird troll shit?” Dave asked finally, his words rough in his throat. He smirked slightly at the way Karkat just about fell out of his chair.

“Nooksucking christ don’t fucking do that.” Karkat snapped, hands balled into fists as he regained balance on his chair.

“Sorry,” Dave replied and coughed a bit. “Just don’t want to make any more mistakes with my love life.” He groaned as he sat up, Karkat making a strange sound in his throat, even making a slight twitch of motion towards Dave, but stayed still. He had lowered his eyes.

“So you’re not going to stay as Gamzee’s Kismesis? I mean, after the way I found you I’m pretty sure you could tear off your mark and all, he was out for a good two hours before his think pan decided to recharge.” Karkat rubbed a hand through his hair. “Finally got him to help me bathe you, and no you smug ass fuck I didn’t touch your lower body.” Karkat snapped as Dave raised an eyebrow above his shades. “After the fucking you two did he apparently was too brain dead to do much more than finish off the other two weed sticks and help me get you here. Getting him to bathe your ass was just a simple matter of bribing him with more of that stuff. I swear, its like he was never even off the sopor.” He sounded a bit concerned as he said it while Dave just smuggly looked at him. “I’m still not sure if we should be calling out hallelujah or building a fallout shelter for the next time he flips his shit.” Karkat added and got up.

He leaned over Dave and looked at the side of his neck where Dave recognized the feel of gauze on skin. Dave was the slightest bit amazed at how gently Karkat removed the gauze to look underneath, wincing as he did so.

“So where is chuckles now?” Dave asked, trying not to wince as Karkat pushed the bandage back into place. It was funny, watching Karkat blink at him almost like an owl, face confused for a moment before he was glaring.

“Chuckles? Really?” Karkat snapped. “He almost tears out your fucking throat, beats your face in, which I could almost say was an improvement, mind fucks you with one of the most horrific things in all of troll kind, and you call him _chuckles_?” The last of the words came out as a hiss as Karkat stepped away from Dave’s bedside. “He had to have broken something in that think pan of yours because I think its gone even more crooked.” Karkat went from the bed over to the desk. It was one of the few things in the room, besides the large amount of scythes covering one wall and a bookcase filled with books and movies. Besides that Karkat had done little to his room.

“Nice digs Martha Stewart.” Dave said as he forced himself to sit up more, bracing his back against the wall. He hissed in pain as he leaned against the cold concrete, his muscles straining in their already tight state.

“Now who from your god forsaken planet are you babbling about?” Dave could hear the annoyance in the troll’s voice.

“Our planet wasn’t the only one.” Dave shot back as Karkat returned. He set some of Dave’s clothes on the bed, leaving him a bit confused. There was no blood on them, no holes. Where had he gotten those from?

“Your sylladex isn’t as uncrackable as it may seem oh king of Irony.” Karkat said with a grunt as he dropped Dave’s sylladex next to the clothes. “I’m going to go make sure Gamzee is still in his room. Probably destroying a dream bubble somewhere.” It was strange watching the troll suppress a shiver, strange because he wanted to run his hand down Karkat’s arm and make it go away.

“I’ll just stay here sweetheart.” He said with a smirk as Karkat turned to go, catching the barest hint of red on his cheeks.

“Shut the fuck up and either leave or go back to sleep.” Karkat growled stalking towards the exit.

“Hey Karkles,” Dave called just as Karkat opened the door, the troll turning and glaring at him, body stiff. “I’m not gonna let some over-grown clown scare me off. Gamzee’s mark is staying right where it fucking is.” And Dave meant that. Besides, what was life without something dangerous?

Plus it was great sex.

Karkat looked at him hard, nodded, and slammed the door. With the barest turn up of his lips Dave leaned heavily against the wall, and managed to dream of nothing.

\---

The same feeling of a pressure on his wrist woke him, pulling him slowly from the darkness. It was a steady pressure, flat and warm against his wrist. Cracking an eye Dave could see Karkat pressing his own wrist against his again, lips moving silently in what he assumed was his native language. Dave didn’t say anything as he watched Karkat’s lips stop moving. Didn’t react when Karkat pulled his wrist away from Dave and then leaned down, pressing thin black lips to the flesh.

“Thank you.” Karkat said softly, hot breath ghosting over Dave’s skin. Dave barely suppressed the shiver. Karkat looked a hell of a lot different when he was quiet, eyes closed as he kept his lips pressed against Dave’s wrist. Pulling back he rubbed at the spot again, Dave’s hand moving like a blur.

Karkat jerked when Dave’s hand clamped down on his wrist.

“Strider, the fuck.” Karkat stammered, tugging and making Dave grunt from moving the bad arm. He didn’t let go though, and as soon as the sound was out Karkat stopped.

“You’re welcome.” Dave said softly, and as best he could, moved so that his fingers could press small circles into Karkat’s wrist like he had been doing to him. Surprise crossed Karkat’s face as he did so, making something warm in the pit of Dave’s stomach. He pressed a bit harder and was greated with the sight of Karkat half closing his eyes, mouth parted slightly. A few seconds later, and a bit more pressure, and Karkat made a slight chirping noise. Dave’s hand stilled and Karkat’s eyes flew open.

“I-you-you tell anyone and I will cull you myself.” Karkat said, slight amount of panic in his voice. Dave gave a small smile. Not a smirk, not a smug look, a smile.

“Let me make you make that noise again and I won’t.” He replied, fingers already going back to moving. Karkat’s mouth opened and closed a few times before Dave stroked a finger between tendons, pressing into the tough troll skin with enough pressure to feel the outline. It hurt with his bad hand, but was worth it when Karkat’s eyes shut again and he let out a little breathy sound. Dave had thought seeing Gamzee on the floor staring through his hair was hot, but this? Dave kept moving his fingers as he pulled on Karkat’s wrist, straining the muscles in his shoulder and making Karkat open his eyes as he brought Karkat’s wrist to his own mouth.

“Thanks for fixing me up.” He pushed a kiss to Karkat’s wrist and was surprised by the sharp intake of breath. Karkat’s face was turning a slight red beneath all the gray, the tips of his ears a deep shade as Dave pressed his mouth harder into the tendons. Karkat’s breathing grew heavier, and when Dave’s mouth parted and his tongue darted out Karkat finally spoke.

“Stop.” It was high and strained, almost pained. Dave did as he was told, and with little grace let his arm fall to his side, still holding Karkat’s hand. They sat in silence, Dave’s fingers wrapped loosely around Karkat’s wrist.

“What’s it mean?” Dave finally asked, shifting so he could look at Karkat without tilting his head so much. Karkat said nothing, just pulled his wrist from Dave’s fingers. He wasn’t about to give up though, fingers tightening as Karkat’s hand tried to slip through.

“Don’t Dave.” Karkat warned, though there wasn’t much to it, he even let his hand stay wrapped in Dave’s.

“Tell me what it means Karkat.” His voice was soft as he asked, his thumb barely able to touch the juncture of wrist and hand. Karkat dropped his eyes.

“More troll romance bull shit.” Karkat said finally, voice a bit softer than usual as he refused to look up.

“Like red?” Dave asked, finger stilling. Karkat’s face got darker with blood. Dave felt a bit taken aback, but he didn’t let go. “Well shit, I thought you had always been black for me.”

“I was,” Karkat snapped, jerking his hand from Dave’s and cradling it like it had been burned against his chest. “I was fucking black for you you idiot, and then you went and got yourself marked by Gamzee and...” his anger trickled, eyes looking away. “And good moirails don’t steal their pale mates quadrants.” More silence.

“What changed?” His words came out low as he looked at Karkat, afraid he would get up and walk away.

“You did you ass hole,” and those eyes were back on him, anger and confusion present. “You weren’t supposed to get all fucking helpful and shit. You weren’t supposed to actually give a damn if Gamzee fucked me up. You weren’t supposed to...” his voice cracked. “You weren’t supposed to come in like some fucked up white knight and save my pathetic ass.” Karkat whispered. “And I wasn’t supposed to see you when all you could do was scream about your Lusus and name off times and types of deaths.” Karkat looked away before he started to list things off, voice low. “Omega timeline, twenty three days, four hours, six minutes, fiftynine seconds. Death by stab wound. Fox trot timeline. One year, six days, thirty two minutes, seventeen seconds. Killed by noir. Fuck this life timeline, who knows how long, horrible fucking way to die.” Karkat’s eyes softened by the second, staring at him. Dave didn’t know what to say. “How many times have you died making sure we got a chance?” The troll finally asked. Dave shrugged.

“Time is relative, I have no clue.” He felt his mask harden as he said it, unable to comprehend the look. There was one look a Strider should never be looked at with. Hate, yes. Need, yes. Pity. Fuck no.

“Oh cut the bullshit Dave,” and there was the old volume. “You had me thinking you were just another, full of it douche. Then you had to go and not only break that idea by saving me and taking Gamzee down, but by fucking mentally breaking and proving to me, you really are only human.” The last bit came out loud, almost a yell, and was there red in Karkat’s eyes. “You selfish piece of shit! Do you know how fucking hard it is to realize that everything you thought about someone is just one big fucking lie? I should fucking hate you for it more, want to tear out your eyes and feed them to you,” He was full on screaming now. “But all I can see is you lying on the floor, covered in blood, begging for your Lusus while I wait for Gamzee to help because I was too damn scared to move you!” And then a tear did fall, one Karkat quickly got rid of. “You fucking prick. You had me fooled all this time, even when I could see every move you made, and now I can’t go back to hating you if I tried.” He scrubbed his hands over his cheeks and through black hair, making it stand up in unruly points. “Can’t hate someone who is so fucking pitiful they have to hide behind a pair of shades.”

Dave swallowed hard at the last bit, glad Karkat hadn’t looked back up. He hadn’t told anyone about the doomed selves. How everytime they died he knew when, how, the exact time measurement, and even a flash of how it had felt. That wasn’t something anyone was ever supposed to know. Ever.

“It’s one of Gamzee’s miracles he didn’t hear you,” Karkat finally whispered. “Once he gets a hang of his voodoo’s, there’s no telling what he could have made you see with fodder like that.” Dave said nothing back, just swallowed, face cold and stoic. Karkat searched his face, tried to look through the shades, and finally just stood up. “Fine,” he whispered. “Fuck if I care.” Karkat started to stand, limbs shaking as he went to leave. Dave watched him go. Looked at the way his shoulders trembled to stay up straight, the way he fought so hard to keep in control. Saw the way he had looked screaming and helpless, thanking him with tears in his eyes.

The pain laced through him as his body reacted, his flash step stumbling and sloppy. He still managed to hit the door before Karkat got to it.

“Fuck off Dave, I get it, you’re not interested. Go back to being your stone knight and leave me to go disembowel myself with Gamzee’s rusty pie ti-”

“Twenty seven times,” Dave gasped leaning against the door, legs trembling. He must have lost more blood than he had thought.

“What?” Karkat asked, stopping just in front of him, confusion on his face.

“Twenty seven times. Twenty eight in the next four hours, ten minutes, and 23 seconds.” He gasped a bit, bracing against the door. Karkat just stared at him, eyes wide. Dave reached up and took off his shades, holding them in one trembling hand. It was almost painful to not force himself to keep his cool, but not as painful as his chest had felt watching Karkat walk away like that. “I don’t know how, but if its under 12 hours I know when another version of me is going to die.” They stood like that a few more moment, Dave taking shuddering breaths. A claw came up and cupped the cheek that wasn’t broken, thumb running under Dave’s eye.

“You are a fucking coward you know that?” Karkat asked, taking a step forwards.

“Only a coward if I’m afraid of dying.” Dave said, unable to stopped the quip.

“Are you?” Karkat asked hand coming off Dave’s cheek, only for Dave to grab it with his good hand and keep the wrist near his face. He thought about that, how with every alternate death his fear had shrunk more and more. How each time he had failed he realized he wouldn’t be protecting anyone else. How he knew John would be the hero to their story, that he would just be second fiddle, waiting to die when the time was right. After time fifteen he hadn’t been afraid to die. He looked into Karkat’s eyes, remembered them with tears and the inability to protect himself from his moirail. How he had been the only one to protect him, take pity on him, feel something a little closer than affection towards him. Who would do that if he died?

“I am now.” He whispered, into Karkat’s wrist and kissed it. It shook against his mouth.

“You’re a fucking ass hole Dave.” Karkat said, voice thick. Dave pulled back.

“I know.” The pain as Karkat collided with him was worth it when Karkat kissed him, closed mouthed and frantic, like he would disappear. Dave managed to wrap his good arm around Karkat’s shoulders, pressing back into the door to keep himself up as Karkat wrapped his arms around Dave’s stomach and back, pressing the wool of his sweater into the small scratches on his chest. He hissed.

“Shit, are you okay?” Karkat said, pulling back in a quick jerk that pulled Dave with him. It left Karkat having to mostly support Dave, bad hand clutching his glasses while the other hugged Karkat close.

“Yeah,” he said turning his head, the smallest of smiles on his face. “Perfect.” He pecked Karkat’s nose. The smile lasted for all of three seconds, three seconds Dave etched into his memory of how those black lips looked turned up before worry took back over.

“Come on dumb ass, lets get you back in bed.” Karkat muttered, cheeks red as he managed to support Dave enough to get him walking. Gamzee’s bulge had done a number to his insides.

“Only if you stay in it with me.” He cooed, as much as he could while his body protested every move.

“Fuck you Dave,” Karkat said with slight smile, helping him sit down on the side of the bed.

“Wait until I can walk on my own then we’ll ta-” Karkat’s mouth shut him up. Dave was completely fine with that.

\-------------------------

Gamzee pulled his ear away from the door, not sure if he should smile or tear it from its hinges. His pale bro had a matesprite, meaning it was time to figure out how to bake a celebratory pie. As wonderful as the new miracle fire was, he couldn’t just have him eat that. It didn’t taste nearly as good. Said matesprite though was also the same motherfucker he hated more than anything else in the fucking universe. Well un-universe. He took a drag and let the heat settle in his lungs, brain swimming in its new found chemical of choice. What had he been raging about again. Shrugging his listened to the whispers in the back of his head. The ones that sounded like some trolls he used to know. He breathed them out with the smoke.

Sucking down more he walked away from the door, hand sliding into his sylledex. Well it didn’t really matter, because they would land soon, and then it was all going to be about sorting everything out. The messiah's whispered to him as his clothing changed, hat pushing his hair down farther into his eyes and wings making his back itch. The strange cloth between his legs bounced, and he wondered if the new bag of weed would fit in there. It made a great pocket when he needed it. Gamzee took in another breath of smoke and blew it into the empty hall. Next he pulled out the wicked indigo elixir and popped the cork. Equius’s face flashed before his eyes for a moment, a whispered choking sound in his ears.

“It’s almost showtime bro.” He whispered to it. “Then all us motherfuckin brothers and sisters can get our party all up and on.” The messiah's agreed. Gamzee would congratulate his pale bro later. Taking one gulp he thought of brightly colored balloons, rising air, and was gone.

It was less than three weeks till touch down. He had shit to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! If you have any questions about the head cannon's please let me know! I have some information about them over on my tumblr. 
> 
> Leticheecopae.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Last part (I think?) to the Painful Needs collection. Not sure yet on that, but its looking like it. Then of course almost every time I think that my brain makes me into a liar. I am currently saying there will be about three chapters in this, give or take one, but I doubt it will go over four with what is in my head. Either way, enjoy.


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